This was my New Year’s resolution 2014: I want to stop pigeonholing people by their appearance. Though this may be a totally normal human reflex from the stone ages or earlier I wanted to attempt stopping myself from doing so. The reason behind my resolution was my firm belief that if I stop judging other people, particularly female people, on first sight solely by their look or the way they dress it would gradually become less important to me whether or when other people – female people – do the same to me.
Over the years, I have come to the point that “the others” do not judge me and my look to the extent or in the categories I so feared them to do.
“As soon as we start considering being fat as one body shape among many others and start perceiving each body as unique our view will open to the natural diversity of being human. No body will be subject to judgement and evaluation and as soon as we defy competetiveness we can hope for greater harmony. A harmony which does not discriminate any body shape. Embarassment, fear and self loathing even may be stopped resp. prevented from developing. Everybody is moulded by the society they grow up an live in and particularly by the influence of the media. This needs to be stopped.” (Original quote by ARGE Dicke Weiber – Feministische Initiative dicker Frauen)
Thus, following the mottoes “Let them talk” and “People will talk, give them a reason” ….. let’s dare to begin! Let’s stop spending our lives in hiding trying to be invisible.
To give you an idea how to begin your transition I would like to tell what happened to me – the subject I am most familiar with :). Up to my fifties I wore pants exclusively, mostly jeans. Combined with a shirt or a sweater and comfy sneakers that was my look. Then, a gradual change took place because I felt the strong notion that I did not want to end up in grandma jeans and sweats. Moreover, it was getting harder for me to buy pants which on the one hand fit my increasing shape and which on the other hand I liked. I felt constrained and no longer would stand the pain of cramming my midriff and my backside into waistbands while draping my upper body in lose fitting long tops in order to hide ugly creases around the crotch area or even the fact that I nonchalantly had left my zipper open with a rubber band to hold my pants in place.
I tried on a denim skirt to make the transition a little smoother for me. Although I liked it very much, there was still the problem of the waistband …. and me lacking the classic shape for wearing belts. The times when I was able to wear my tops inside a waistband had been gone for such a long time that I could hardly remember them. What to do?
I tried on a dress. One of those pieces of clothing you see in a shop window and hear it scream: “I am yours! Get me out of here!” Smocked waist, slightly flared skirt, V-neck, flowing jersey fabric. Ever since, I am a big (sic!) fan of this fabric and I hardly ever wear pants anymore. Because this dress brought friends to my house. A lot of them.
This is how my change came about. I had reinvented myself or better: I had invented myself for the first time. Wearing a dress became my brand. My goal was and still is that people remember me as the one who wears a dress to every occasion. Or the fat one who wears a dress to every occasion, for all I care.
Everybody out there is invited to do as I did. It is not necessary for dresses being your brand. For starters, you can choose any accessory unrelated to your size, i.e. earrings, lip colors, headgear, jewellery, shoes, handbags, hair accessories, scarves, or shawls.
You go, girl, be your own brand!
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