Don’t be a victim

focusGranted, sometimes and for a short amount of time is can be quite comfy regarding yourself as a victim of adverse circumstances. You can just sit there and pity yourself because everybody else is always doing better than you, because the cutest dresses are always meant to be worn by somebody else than you, and because the grass on the other side is not only always greener but also tastier. Because you have little money and too little time to do as you please while other people (who do not at all or at least not as much as you deserve) belong to the jet set and loiter on yachts while cruising the seven seas. Oh, well *deep deep sigh*. Unfair! Besides, who else would pity you if you don’t start yourself, just the way they say you cannot love somebody as long as you don’t start loving yourself.

Stop! Staaaahhhhpppp!
If you dare to be honest to yourself and others you will find out that they probably deal with the same kind of ruminations. There is this friend I have who has everything I would like to have (and haven’t): she is just under six feet fall, is nicely built  and has full long hair. I enjoy going shopping with her, because I get to see shops from the inside which I would never put my foot in on my own. Size issues.
What do I encounter? My beautiful friend has the same problems buying clothes as I have. Pants are too short, too wide, or both. Shoes are too small or ugly, or both. Shirt sleeves end in the middle of her forearm. Her wonderful long hair is usually carelessly worn in a pony tail.

Uhm! Uhm? So, where is the problem? Does she have one? Do I have one? Or is the fashion industry – plain and simply – too daft to think outside of their box and to not pretend everybody (every body!) in this world has the same shape? And why should that by my or anybody else’s problem?

As a fat woman you always feel guilty for not fitting into saleable clothing sizes. But is it really our mistake to have the body we have? For me, I can say: No, it is not!, because I have tried to change my body for centuries. Of course, with close to no avail. Which led me to the comprehension that it must be  the fashion industry’s wrongdoing not to cater to the needs of women who wear size 16 and up. The „fat“ money they are missing out on! You could almost feel sorry for them …

selfconvidenceA change of perspektive can really help finding a way out of victimization. Plus the notion that not all of our problems necessarily have to do with our body size. Almost everybody has body issues these days even if others may be able to wrap them into off the shelf clothes.

I would like to encourage you to stop focussing on your alleged weak points. To stop pointing them out. Stop attempting to – attention, this is a word I hate with a passion – conceal your body. Because it will in the end lead you into deeper frustration until you feel like ….. see start of this article.

Don’t be a victim! Get going, start doing something, don’t overthink, start a little something new. Try new colours in your outfit. Wear your hair differently. When was the last time you did something for the first time? After all, what can go wrong? The ground will not open underneath your feet. People in the streets will not turn away and run off screaming. They will not point their fingers, and neither will they fend their children from the sight of you. Because most probably they will be busy minding their own business instead of dealing with yours.

Even if they don’t ….


Best regards

Mein Name ist Edda, ich bin 57 Jahre alt und man sagt mir ein Händchen für Styling nach. Da ich gerne mit Menschen zu tun habe, hätte ich Lust, hier Stylingtipps und allerlei Praktisches/Faktisches im Zusammenhang mit Mode und Style aufzuschreiben.
My name is Edda, I was born 57 years ago and I am told that I have a great style. I like to be with people and my idea is to use this blog to give all kinds of practical/factual information regarding fashion and style.
Du findest mich auch hier / You can also find me here:
Don’t be a victim was last modified: March 22nd, 2015 by Edda Hein

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